Dreams & Independence

I sent them a message I sent them a message I sent them a message! I asked the University of Sydney if I could perform at their weekly stand-up thingy they do:

Hi! My name is Liam McCann, and I'm a student at the University of Wollongong. I also perform stand-up, and though I'd like to perform at my own university, there's no comedy scene at all at my uni, and I don't have the connections to start things on my own. I stumbled across your page a week or 2 ago and was wondering if I could get involved with your comedy scene, seeing as it's well established.

It says on your page that you run a weekly show -- can people who aren't USYD students take part? If so, I'll happily make the trip up to perform :)  That said, I figure the next few weeks would probably be out due to the comedy comp you're running, but I'm free to come up on pretty much any Wednesday. I understand if non-students can't perform, though.

In any case, hope to hear from you soon. Thank you for your time :)

- Liam

It might seem like nothing, but those two paragraphs took me a fucking hour to write and send on Sunday. I proofread it and edited it at least twenty times. And that's not counting how long it took me to click the Message button and actually write something. Goddamn anxiety, yo. But it's gone now. It's gone (the message, not the anxiety; that's still there). Now I just have to hope they respond :P

I vowed not to write anymore in this entry until I did that. So now I can write :)

I've been thinking about what I wanna do in the future, where I wanna work. The only job I really want is to do stand-up and improv -- if that was my job, I'd be happy. I'd obviously have to learn how to get around, live on next to nothing, book motels, etc., but if one's passion for something is strong enough, you'll learn anything to pursue it. Same with the few girls I've asked out: I crush on a girl hard enough, and I'll ask her out however it needs to be done. Nothing stops me once passion gets in control. It took me a while to muster the courage to ask these people if I can perform, but I still did it. Just took a while, that's all :)

And comedy is the only thing I do without being asked. I like my courses at university -- philosophy is certainly interesting -- but doing the work is always a chore. I like the content, but any assessment I do is only done to appease my teachers and fulfil course requirements. On the other hand, I write comedy just cos I feel like it. Hell, I started to write my monologue for the the next RAW comedy competition back in July, and that competition starts next February. I really get into the writing portion, and I'm now striving to get more involved in the performance portion (which is just as important). It never feels like a chore to edit a bit, or to verbally test a joke, or to brainstorm out loud. I just do it, cos it's fun.

One thing I've seen written a lot about comedy is that it doesn't pay well. Comedians often have to do live down to the wire just to keep afloat (living out of their cars, shit like that). It's a sad truth, but I'm not really fussed. Money's good and all -- it certainly helps make one's life secure and comfortable -- but it's not the be all and end all. It's not like it costs much to feed me :P  So long as I have enough to keep myself alive, I'll be fine. I've also read (not that it needs to be read, cos it's obvious) that it puts strain on relationships, which sucks cos that's something else I really want. Can't have everything, I suppose. Given my current skills, I'm definitely more likely to end up with a place in comedy than a steady girlfriend :P



I saw a quote or /r/QuotesPorn the other day that summed up how dull I think my life can be sometimes:

First off, it's true: the majority of one's life is usually quite boring, and we mostly hear about the interesting bits when listening to the stories of others, particularly when perusing social media.

But on a more abstract note, I really like reading quotes like that. I stopped reading novels and the like when I got into high school, but when I got into comedy, I became a lot more fascinated with language and how it works, how it can be used, exploited, manipulated. And some of my favourite uses of language come in the form of quotes like that: big ideas expressed with only a few words. I like the idea of being able to do that. It may seem arrogant (probably cos it is :P) but I'd like to resonate with people like that. I feel my best jokes are my one liners, ones that don't need a backstory or a lengthy set-up. And I wonder if I ever could resonate with people like that. I wonder if there exists a permutation of words which, when read, would stick with people, change their perspective, alter their behaviour patterns.

And then I think about just writing things. Most of my comedic activity has been written, not performed -- even if it most of it has been written with the intention of being performed, it never actually has been. Many comedians end up writing for sitcoms, doing jokes for other comedians, etc. It seems weird to say that after transferring out of my Creative Writing course to do Philosophy instead, but I'm not talking about creative writing, only comedic writing. I don't wanna write stories; I just wanna write jokes. One liners, funny stories, satirical articles: that's my kind of writing, and the course I did at uni didn't even touch on that stuff. I occasionally write stuff that isn't comedy (I like to write rap lyrics sometimes, see what I can put to the tune of some instrumental track I have lying around), but at the end of the day, the vast majority of my linguistic adventures take place in Laughter Land.

Maybe I'll end up writing other stuff as well as stand-up, make a buck or two on the side. Who knows, right? I can certainly do both at the same time -- all I need is a laptop. I dunno. I'll have to wait and see.

As weird as it sounds, I like the idea of independence. I've always said to myself "why would I ever move out of home? Free power, free water, free gas, free food, free internet, no rent, no noisy neighbours, no shitty roommates: what reason is there to move out?" But at the same time, when mum goes away for a couple of days and I have to live alone, it feels so good, so free. I dig living alone. I get more shit done--I'm doing chores cos I wanna do 'em, not cos someone else wants 'em done. I can talk to myself and not have to worry about anyone else hearing what I say. I can practice my comedy at the top of my lungs without disturbing anyone. And the responsibility involved (having to lock up, fix things that break, keep things tidy, etc.) gives me a strong sense of maturity, something I often don't believe I have. Doing comedy solo would basically be an extension of the whole thing.



So yeah, really hoping the comedy organiser person says 'yes' and lets me perform up there. Might meet some people :D