Still no response. Shall give them until next Wednesday, and then I'll just stick a comment on an existing post, a recent one so they can't possibly miss it. If it's out in the open and they don't respond, then I honestly don't know what the fuck to do :P
Also, out of curiosity, I looked up if my local comedy club is still doing open mic stuff -- I think they are, but I'm not 100% sure. I shall ask. One thing I did notice was that seeing as they do comedy every second Saturday, and they did it last night, they'll be doing it again in four weeks, when I'm having my sleepover. I could take my guests to see me perform! Would be a nice break from all the games, and they'd all get to see me make lulz. I wanted to test my material on them anyway, just at some random point over the weekend, but now I might be able to do it properly, on an actual stage, with a less biased audience. May not work out that way, particularly if someone's already scabbed the open mic spot for that week, or if they aren't doing open mic stuff anymore, but still, a thought nonetheless :) Shall ask tomorrow.
I was also wondering tonight about hooking up, just having thoughts about it. I've been a lot more open to the idea over the last few months, just in general. I know I'd prefer a relationship, something steady and consistent with more to it than just sex, but the idea of fucking a girl is just fascinating the shit out of me right now and I don't know why. Like, I know if I don't jerk off for a while, that's when the urge comes up (which makes perfect sense, really). So that makes me wonder: if I abstained from masturbation up until that urge came up, then went into a situation where hooking up was actually possible (even if it's an environment I haven't been in before, like a club or a bar), would I actually do anything? Would that lust, by itself, be enough to push me over the edge, leading me to try my luck? Or would I still not be comfortable enough to give it a shot? The only way to find out is to actually put me in that situation.
Cos maybe it's like when I'm crushing on a girl: the feelings could get to a certain point and I'll just say "fuck it, I'm going in, I don't care what happens, I just wanna take a stab". In another way, it could also be like when I do stand-up. Though I might be scared before I walk on-stage, I'm fairly comfortable once I've gotten my first laugh; so, maybe I'll be scared before I start talking to the girl, but once things are underway, I'll be ok-ish. In another way, though, this is more akin to when I started stand-up, in that I have no clue what I'm doing and will be hella nervous the first time. Like my current performances, I know confidence is key, so I can go in with that knowledge and use it to my advantage; but though I know I can crack a joke, I don't know if I can interest a woman in any way whatsoever. I have a well-built repertoire of jokes, but not a well-built body--I've been told I'm funny by plenty of people, but have never been told I'm hot, not once. I can improvise funny comments, but not flirtatious ones. Two sides to the coin, I guess.
I dunno. I just like the thought of meeting women, whether it be in a romantic way or a sexual way. I'd be super happy with either, to be honest. I can get kinda down that I've been single for a while, and that I haven't had sex yet, but overall, thinking about doing it brings me up most of the time. And though I'm not doing stand-up specifically to meet women (wrong industry, trust me :P), doing it will put me in the kinds of venues where you can meet chicks, particularly if & when I perform in bars. Seeing as I'm actually making efforts to get into these places now, I may be dealing with this shit soon. Who knows?
What I do know is that it's 3:20am and I need sleep :P
No comments:
Post a Comment