Goals: Meeting Them and Making Them

Hopefully my next blog article will be more... interesting ;)

Probably not, unfortunately. But the one after this, the one probably going up in about 48 hours?* Definitely gonna be interesting. I'm serious: it'll blow your fucking mind, at least if you know me personally :P 

*Change that to 'a week from now'; stuff came up, not my fault, I pwomise :P

It also feels somewhat petty to discuss what I have to discuss cos one of my other friends had someone quite close to them die, and another's been having numerous family issues (nothing huge, but still not optimal). Meanwhile, I'm over here going 'yup... everything's relatively cool over here. Nothing to complain about... nope.' I guess it sucks reading about that kind of stuff knowing that you can't really help, and that the person in question has to get through it on their own

Enough about that, though. Having been on what I suppose you could call a 'journey' of self-improvement over the last eighteen months, I think I've come pretty far. A lot of the things I wanted to achieve, I have: I've met new people, I'm more comfortable in social situations (which are also more frequent), and I'm less hesitant to act now than I was before, at least in most cases. I've come to realise that a lot of the things I set out to do have been done, so I've basically been having to make goals up as I go along. I didn't even realise this until a couple of minutes ago, to be honest—that's why I'm writing. Instead of having some master list of problems to solve in my head, I've been jotting things down sometimes and, with any luck, crossing them off sometime later.

And there are even some problems I'm solving without even realising I'm solving them. Like, the other week, I recognised someone from the games store in town, and I was like "excuse me, do you work at [store name]" and they were like "yeah, I do, actually!", and we started talking about games and stuff. Only when I got home did I realise what I'd done: I'd just talked to a stranger. Like, I talked to them first. I started that conversation.

As for new goals, one thing I've been thinking about lately is international travel. I've pondered the topic mostly because almost all my friends have gone overseas now (some on exchange through uni, some on purely personal trips). To be honest, I've never really wanted to go overseas, nor even leave my state. I don't care much for cultural tourism, at least not personally. There are no countries I'm dying to go to just so I can see their landmarks, experience their customs, eat their food (fuck that :P); there really aren't any aspects of visiting or living in another country that I wanna experience. Also, even if I did want to go to other countries or states, we've never really had the money to do that, so it's not something I've ever even had the option of doing. This is in addition to the regular 'food' and 'general scariness' objections I'd normally have to such an activity.

The thing is, given that being a stand-up comedian is a serious goal for me now, travel is, quite ironically, almost essential in moving up the latter. You can't be a comedian and perform at the same five open mics for the rest of your career; you have to go and perform for other people, lots of other people. And I think I'd be happy to travel if it was to work in that field. I'd love to go to the United States and tour around, performing at comedy clubs all over the country. To do the same in England, or even another European country with a sizeable English-speaking audience, would be pretty cool too. It's not like that's all I'd do—there are obviously some cultural things I'd engage in for each place I went to—but if I ever leave this country, the focus will almost certainly be performing stand-up.



A more achievable goal I've been thinking about is getting involved in comedy at uni, something I've mentioned on this blog several times before. People have repeatedly asked why I haven't contacted the Unibar about performing there, but I cannot bring myself to ask them for stage time when I'm the only one performing. It seems supremely arrogant to contact a bar asking if I can perform alone. My current set is five minutes long; I'm fairly sure if they're gonna put a comedian on stage, they're gonna want more than that. If there were other people willing to go up alongside me, I'd be happy for us to ask as a group, but I am literally the only person I know at that uni who does comedy in any way, shape, or form. I've also mentioned wanting to contact the student magazine offering to write satire, but haven't really done that either—I think the reason I cited for that is because each issue is about a particular theme, and I doubted any assurance on my part that I could joke about whatever theme they could throw at me.

However, if I approach this the right way, these two things (stand-up and written satire) might lead into one another. Let's say I contacted the student mag about writing satire (or just comedic stuff in general), and they took me on board, allowing me to write stuff; let's also say that, generally speaking, students actually liked my content. That would allow me to make a name for myself through a medium which already has an established audience. I can then use that success to go "hey, find my writing funny, I also do stand-up!" and either advertise an upcoming gig, or better still, trial a stand-up performance at uni itself. People will already have some idea of who I am, and (assuming success with the writing) people will like what I do, potentially wanting to see more. Bingo: I have a student audience for my stand-up! Hooray :)  I wouldn't want to use the writing position just to advance my stand-up, as the writing experience would be rewarding in and of itself, a good way to branch out and try something new; but it does have the added bonus of potentially fulfilling another goal of mine.

There are legitimate fears on my part that have lead me to hesitate, potential outcomes I truly dread having to face as either a writer or a performer in the public eye. These aren't flippant excuses for not making more of an effort to get in touch with people; these are things I've thought about to the point of feeling depressed and/or crying (though the latter is a rarity—if I react negatively to these thoughts, I usually just feel blue). While I don't shy away from discussing ethical, political, and religious issues in my act, I don't want people to misinterpret my jokes for any sort of activism. However staunchly I may put forward an argument or defend a position, at the end of the day, they're just jokes. I don't want to be mistaken for an activist, or even someone who thinks he's super clever, cos I'm neither of those things. It's not like I believe I'm immune to criticism or anything; I just don't want to get involved in public disputes with people, or become someone who's explicitly asked to debate topics cos I'm well-known or perceived as knowledgeable. I'm happy to plant seeds of doubt and stimulate discussion, but in-depth examination of issues should be left to people who aren't complete fuckwits, AKA people who aren't me.

I also don't want to be in class and have the teacher or some student go "hey, Liam talks about stuff like this on stage! What do you think?" Dude, if I was willing to talk in class, I'd have done so by this point. Leave me the fuck alone to sit here in peace until class ends. I also really really don't want assholes walking up to me while I'm walking to class or hanging with friends, or at any other time, berating me for shit I've said or written cos they're offended or whatever. I don't wanna hear it, cos I don't fucking care :P

I still think it'd be a good thing overall, though, to get involved with that. I dunno if it'll actually happen—maybe the uni mag already has a satirist (I don't read the thing... I should probably read the thing :P), or maybe they aren't looking for one—but if it does happen, it should be worth it, despite the risks.