YouTube Update: Stuff You; I'd Rather Not Do What You Tell Me.

Fuck you! I won't do what you tell me, motherfucker!

Zack de la Rocha, Rage Against the Machine

Ah, that's more like it :)

Having said that, however, I'm going to ask that you do not interpret the following entry as being disregarding of your opinions and desires as far as my YouTube channel goes. I have an audience, and if I wish to maintain that audience (which I do), then it is my duty to appease them -- that's just how it works with being a content creator. The thing with my YouTube channel, however, is that it does not revolve around the audience. I don't create content solely because other people enjoy it; I produce it because I like producing it, and because (hypothetically) you like watching it. I don't produce content that isn't enjoyable to produce -- forcing yourself to do something you don't want to do just because someone else wants you to (when it comes to producing content, at least) is inane. This is why there is no schedule, no plan, no structure, and no consistency: I make videos when I want and how I want, and I make them about whatever I want. The userbase seems to like what I put out, so it's a win for both parties; but content is never made with me thinking "ooohh! They'll just love this!" Don't bullshit yourself; I don't think like that. Yes, I make stuff my audience will presumably like (hence why I mainly publish LBP videos: because that's why most subscribers subscribed in the first place :P) but I will not go out of my way to suck dicks and fondle balls just because people ask.

When it comes to people making demands, it pisses me off to no end. Requests are fine, demands are not; and there is a clear-cut difference. A request is polite, reasonable, and optional; a demand is (in this context) rude, ridiculous, and seemingly mandatory, at least to the demander. I can deal with people requesting levels and ideas (hence why the facets that allow you to do so are made available), but when I get comments like this:



-followed by comments like this:





-it annoys me that both parties ask for the same thing, yet to appease the polite one is to appease both. People who ask for things as impolitely as that don't deserve what they want as far as I'm concerned, especially when they're getting it for free, on my time. It's just ungrateful. I know not everyone is greedy like that, and that those people may not even be like that all the time; but when they are, it's clear cut in my mind that they're being completely unreasonable.

When it comes to what content goes on my channel, here's how things work:

Someone suggests a quality, original level?
If I have the time, I record and upload it.

I have issues I want to get off my chest, and don't want to type?
I record a random game, and throw my thoughts over the top.

I'm going to perform a new stand-up segment somewhere?
I try to get someone to film it for me, and I upload it.

I think of an idea for a video that doesn't fit the above three criteria?
If I have the time and resources, I try it out.

That's it.

That is the extent to which my YouTube channel operates in terms of planning and development. It doesn't stretch an inch beyond what's written above, and it probably never will.

LittleBigShow, which I began making episodes for about a year and a half ago, was the result of that last item in the itinerary. It began well enough, with positive reception being received due to the combining of my voice (which people like for some reason >.>) and the gaming content: three level previews combined in to one video, rather than a single level playthrough. Sure, there was a "Previews" and "Reviews" section, but when you get right down to it, it was just three levels being showcased, with their qualities highlighted for all to see. There haven't been any episodes since April this year, with the latest episode being featured on my channel since its release, giving the false hope of more episodes to come. There are two reasons why there haven't been more episodes; they are:

1: I haven't had the time to work on the show.

Now, however, my schedule is far less busy, and probably won't be as busy as it was before for a long time. "Why, then, are there still no episodes?", you may ask.

2: I don't like making the show.

I used to like making the show -- I loved the recording, the writing, the editing, all of it -- but it soon became a tedium, one I grew tired of very quickly. I had to adhere to a schedule of one episode a month (which was originally going to be one a week -- get fuckin' real :P), which just became annoying, as I hate working for deadlines. I had to go through a whole slew of levels just to get the good ones (this was before LBP.me, however, whose reviews and comments sections would have reduce the workload significantly). The most prevalent dislike I have for the show, however, is its inefficency in doing its job, which was to highlight hidden gems in the LBP community. Yes, it did do its job, but with no efficiency boost on my end. Sure, it would be quicker for you guys, because you get three levels in one video; but for me came the tasks of gathering and organising suggestions, writing scripts and dot points, recording voice-overs (which took multiple takes due to their scripted nature), and an arduous editing process for something that only ended up running for five minutes. The effort simply isn't worth the return.

Put it this way: it would be far quicker for me to simply record three levels, edit them separately (a process which involves nothing more than importing, clipping, and a few nips and tucks), encode them separately, and upload them over a period of time, than it would for me to make LBS. It's just quicker! If you want my opinion of the level, I leave a snippet in the description -- always have, always will. That's another thing I disliked about the show: I told you what I thought of the level. Who gives a flying fuck what I think of the level? It's your opinion of the level that matters, not mine! If you think it looks good, you'll go and play it, regardless of what I think or say! There isn't even a point to the voice-over -- as I said (and I'm not being conceited; people have said this to me on YouTube, more than just a few times) people just liked listening to me speak. If there's no substance or worth in the words, there's no point in speaking them.

-but I liked LittleBigShow!

Your prayers have been answered (for a number of months now, in fact :P).

LittleBigPicks has been operating since June of this year, and they've already produced nine episodes of their program, in the form of both levels in LittleBigPlanet 2, and YouTube videos (which are essentially recordings of the levels they make for their show). I am not affiliated with the group behind the content -- I actually hadn't really investigated them until earlier this week -- but, from watching their work, it's presented beautifully and professionally, and has voice work, if you just have to hear someone talk :P  It's done by a team of at least two players (the hosts of the show), and the format is similar to LBS, but different in ways that make their show more engaging and engrossing. Their show is longer, and the hosts build their own set to use in-game -- it's essentially machinima. They not only feature levels, but do other cool stuff as well from time to time -- they recently had an interview with steve_big_guns, so they're evidently being noted for their talents, and getting attention they wholeheartedly deserve. These guys are doing great work, and are featuring incredible levels, so if you want something like LittleBigShow, this is where you should go. It will make LBS seem like child's play :P

As for what I'll be doing on my channel, I've been watching a few Let's Play channels (namely NintendoCapriSun), and thought I could give that a shot once my computer's fixed. Before really watching an LP, I was like "man, what the fuck is the point of watching someone play an entire game, start to finish!? Would that not be the most boring shit ever!?" Well, no, it's not the most boring shit ever, provided you've got a good commentator at the helm; a bad one fucking ruins it (I'll probably do an entry on the LP 'culture', because finding a good LPer is like finding a needle in a haystack coated in shit :P). I'm not saying I could do any better (hence why I'd only be willing to try it out without making any commitments), but if people like watching me play games, and listening to me talk, this is the fastest way I can provide you with a video combining those elements.

I'm not sure what game I'll do though. I am not doing LittleBigPlanet (the acing videos are practically an LP if you string them all together :P), nor do I want to do any game that's been done a million times (Super Mario 64, Ocarina of Time, etc). I'd love to do Donkey Kong 64, as I love that game and know my way around it fairly well, but I only have an emulated version, which is a little glitchy -- I'd rather do it on a real Nintendo 64 (which I will be buying :D). I could do Ratchet and Clank as well, and for now, that seems to be what I'll be doing if I decide to try it out. It's a short enough game to do, but isn't so short that it'll be over before you know it. DK64 is a damn long game, so it'd be better to do if I know it'll be worth doing; I don't want to quit halfway through (hate leaving projects unfinished).

As for my computer, I've found a place that might be able to diagnose (or better yet, fix) the machine, but as it's the Christmas break, the place won't be available for a few days, and I also have to find transport for the box to the place and back (I don't have a license, and I sure as fuck can't walk 30 minutes in to/back from town with this mammoth under my shoulder :P). I can't tell you when it'll be fixed (I may have to purchase replacement parts, which I don't have money for at the moment), but progress has been made to some extent.

Don't jump to dumb conclusions either -- I won't stop making LBP 2 videos, and I'll resume recording levels once my PC is back up and running. For the meantime, I've got another couple of levels in the vaults that (with any luck :P) I can encode and upload (provided the machine doesn't explode).

You're free to leave your thoughts on the subject here, or on my YouTube channel, or any one of my videos. I read and appreciate all feedback :)

Addiction: Protector of All That Is Holy, Deliver Me from Crash Bandicoot

Man oh man... it's been a crazy few days! I've got two weeks of (relative :P) relaxation time from my otherwise busy schedule, and what's the first thing I do? Play Crash Bandicoot! Fuck catch-up, fuck preparation for the future and fuck socialising with friends I don't have; it's time for some old school platforming with our favourite marsupial friend! Perhaps the title should have been "Priorities: I Don't Has" :P  I have been doing a lot of work for LittleBigShow in between sessions -- it's taken ages to edit because a new game calls for changes aplenty -- but that furry little bastard has swept me away to a land of pure digital bliss... and seemingly endless cursing that's eventually met with a platinum relic :P  It's crazy how something can suck you in like this, and many would consider playing video games for (what I consider to be) long periods of time bad for one's self in terms of physical and mental well being, but those fuckers are probably bored stiff from their 9-to-5 routine and a lack of self esteem that causes them to call anything differing from the norm "unhealthy" -- they should play some Crash Bandicoot! Give these people a PlayStation and the original trilogy! Relieve them of their piousness to conformity!

I actually started out playing Crash Bandicoot 3: Warped, skipping the first two games in exchange for something I was more familiar with, seeing as I grew up playing Warped and never had the other two. The nostalgia is mind-blowing; playing a game where I used to scrape through and barely got past the main storyline, but now having the skill and ability to go back and get everything there is to get... it gives me a strong sense of power, as if I'm some kind of gaming God. It's amazing how I can ignore the blocky graphics and the low polygon count, being able to just play and play, enjoying the game for what I'm doing in it rather than what I'm looking at during gameplay. We all know from experience that a more powerful system does not necessarily make for more enjoyable titles; the responsibility for AAA content always has and always will lie with the developer, and Naughty Dog knew what the fuck they were doing :P  After I got all the gems and gold relics, I finally earned me 105% completion -- and for those of you pondering on that, remember: this game puts you in the role of a bandicoot with a mystical mask for a friend and a wumpa-bazooka as a weapon; 105% completion is far from the most illogical concept this game has to offer :P -- but I still wanted all the platinum relics, so off I went trying to get them... and fuck me, they can be hard! A few of them are easy, but some of them are damned tricky! You usually can't make a single mistake, or you'll have to restart. Every jump must be timed perfectly, every jump justified, and every time box broken, or you're sweet outta luck, jolly well fucked, and restarting the level as you swear and curse your way in to mental oblivion -- it makes me wonder why I play if I'm just gonna go ape-shit at a TV screen :P  And don't get me started on the jet-ski levels... just don't.

After I got all 30 platinum relics (a feat I thought was far beyond my ability) I wondered what to play next... well, isn't it obvious? Let's play the next Crash Bandicoot game! I'm evidently losing control over myself here :P  The next one required me to blow the dust off my PS2 -- I'd play it more, but the component cables I used to use to hook it up to the TV are now permanently connected to my capture card for my PS3, and I can't be fucked buying more cables, so the poor bastard's been left alone for months at a time over the past year or so... oh well, this is sure to get his spirits back on high! Crash Bandicoot: Wrath of Cortex is basically Warped, minus the cartoony PS1-era presentation and with a few level changes: namely no stinking jet-ski levels, and the added ball-rolling levels! They are sweet! If there's one good thing that came out of this game, it's the ball-rolling. *You may insert a reference to Chamillionare's "Ridin'" here if you find such references humourous.* For every good idea, however, there's a whole bunch of fuck ups -- take the camera, for instance: it's god awful, especially in the underwater levels, where enemies appear on screen out of nowhere, giving you only half a second to react... annoying shit, let me tell you. Speaking of annoying, how about the loading times? The original trilogy didn't even have loading times, and this is the PS1 we're talking about here! These loading times, whilst not totally unbearable, are still irritable... and the music doesn't loop! Naughty Dog figured that shit out; why can't these new guys do it?

They're both enjoyable titles though (hence why I've been barely able to put the controller down) but when I play video games with this chronological density, I wonder... am I playing because I enjoy it, or am I playing because I need to? Did I go "hey, you know what would be fun? Playing the next game in the series" or "gimme a game gimme a game gimme a game any game I don't care so long as I'm not doing anything productive gimme gimme gimme!" What's gonna happen when I finish this one? Am I gonna go out and get Crash Twinsanity in my urge to manipulate this little bandicoot digital existence? Am I gonna go back and play the first or second game in the trilogy? Am I gonna go outside due to a critical Vitamin D shortage? I don't wanna spend my days getting crystals, gems and relics, no matter how fun it is! I have a girl to chase, damn it, and she sure as fuck ain't gonna be impressed by gaming statistics of any kind, even if they do defy the basic laws of mathematics.

That's one question I asked myself during a gaming session: if I had the choice between playing a new game I've been eager to get for a long time, and a date, which would I choose? In theory, I'd pick the date -- that's a fuckin' no-brainer right there -- but in practice... I'm not even sure anymore :P  I'd have to put the controller down to get to the stage where I'd be offered a date, so I suppose it's not as simple as my hypothetical makes it out to be. I thought about my fancy as I was doing some work in between gaming sessions (or am I gaming in between writing sessions... o.O) and one lone butterfly came to say hello to my stomach. It makes me glad that I'm not so warped (pardon the reference :P) by games that my mind leaves reality and enters the simulated one; that would suck, hard. I suppose that means I'm OK -- if I can still dream about bliss with people, I can still engage in my bliss with my gamepad.

What? I fell down that hole again!? AGAIN!? Oh, for fuck's sake!