"I got a lot of good ideas -- trouble is, most of 'em suck."
George Carlin
Do you sometimes have ideas that you think are really out there and perhaps even beyond realisation, but just might fuckin' work? I got a few... like not putting all your end-of-year exams at the end of the goddamned year! Maybe we'd like some space in there to... study! System wants me to do well? System can be reasonable for once, and maybe System will get what System wants! And what's up with testing me on shit I've already been tested on? That's what most end-of-year tests are: all-encompassing tests that examine you on everything you learned that year... do you even remember half the shit you learned this year? Well, I suppose you've managed to remember everything you've learned this year -- if you haven't remembered it, you haven't learned it :P The thing is, I can't understand what the topic test was for if I'm just gonna get examined again on that very same topic in a few months time! If I really need that knowledge for anything I do in the future, I'll take in on myself to learn it in preparation, rather than getting it all back in my head for the sake of repeated analysis by the State.
I got a sorta messed up idea too; it's disgusting, but it's got potential! See, my eating habits are fucked up, and I mean fucked up. I have no allergies and no medical conditions to worry about; my habits are pure, 100% choice. If you think you've seen a fussy eater, you ain't seen shit, son :P Ladies, would you go out with a guy who eats crackers and custard for dinner? Methinks not :P This idea would need me a stroke of luck to find a more-than-willing participant, but it would eliminate the need for me to ask that question ever again. First, I'd have to meet a girl whose answer to that question is something along the lines of "of course!" or "why not?" The problem is that any girl would change their answer to that question pretty quickly upon experiencing my eating habits and the self-imposed restrictions that come with them. This is where the second part comes in: I call it "The Transitional Stage." Basically, we get the relationship to a point where we're happy to make out ("lips and tongue" is one of my all-time favourite dishes :P). At this point, I tell her my idea in full. What happens is: she gets something to eat that I haven't tried before, she takes a bite, chews it up a bit... then we let our tongues dance together for a good ten, maybe fifteen seconds, at least until a good portion of the food is in my mouth, so I can taste it! It's win-win: she gets a boyfriend who isn't a total pain in the arse to go out with, and I get to make out! How isn't this an awesome idea!?
In all seriousness though, I actually have an idea I'd like to see brought to life; and I've already got pretty much everything I need. You know how at the mall, and in other public places, you've got kids walking around with iPods, DS's, PSP's, mobile phones; all that shit? I'm old school; I need me some split-screen action! Here's what I want to do: I have a small 21" (~50cm) LCD TV that will fit in a bag, an old laptop with a bunch of emulators on it (NES, SNES, N64, PS1, etc), and two PS3 controllers that will work on the laptop with special drivers. I take the TV and the laptop in to a public place (most likely a mall), set the TV and laptop up near a power-point (and out of people's way), get friend(s) to donate another two controllers, and set up a small 4-player retro rig for anyone who wants to join in! If you saw Mario Kart 64 and a spare controller at the mall, wouldn't you stop by and play a bit? And how awesome would some Goldeneye be!? It'd be a blast! We might get kicked out, but so long as we're not too loud, and we keep out of people's way, what's the fuckin' problem with this? Stealing their power, am I? This equipment wouldn't suck up anymore than $1 worth of juice in the space of an hour, if that. I'll chuck 'em a coin and tell 'em to lighten up :P
Security is a bit of an issue, although not so much with the TV and laptop, as they're both heaps of shit that only serve to get the job done, not to mention their weight -- you'd be better off robbing one of the surrounding department stores :P It's the PS3 controllers I'm worried about, as they don't have the cable attached at the controller end. Someone could simply yank the micro-USB out and run off with $100 worth of equipment; three people do that, and I'm $300 in the hole (and at least one of those controllers wouldn't have been mine :P). If I got PS2 controllers and a few USB adapters, I could simply tie the cables around a table leg or something to make it virtually impossible to surreptitiously steal the equipment intact -- you'd have to cut the cable to get the controller (and who steals PS2 controllers anyway? Yeesh :P) It might cost me some money, but I think it'd totally be worth it; and if I can find somewhere to do it, I'll fuckin' do it :P
...hopefully, this future girlfriend of mine is a bit kinky; that way, her mouth won't be the only place I could eat out :P
No comments:
Post a Comment