Sex: Let's Get Serious for a Moment...

SERIOUS MOMENT IS OVER! lol bewbs xD

I've been thinking about sex a lot lately (this statement somewhat tenuous as I have a penis :P), wondering more about when I'll get to do it, how it'll be, all that stuff. Masturbation, while still kinda fun, is losing its thrill, and even my hand's like "Come on, man, I've got other things to do today >.<". I just wanna do it. It's not like walking around with a hard-on that can only be cured by losing my virginity; I'm just getting a little impatient.

First off, I'm wondering if I'll ever meet someone I can do it with in the first place. I mean, I know people I'd be more than happy to get it on with, but there's no girl I know who has any intention of letting me into their pants. I need to meet someone new, and that's a task on it's own. Problem is, I'm not popular nor attractive, so no woman is going to come up to me of their own accord because they find me sexy. I am not sexy :P I mean, first off, there's the whole "I look like a skeleton" thing, then there's the whole "I look younger than I am, and women are attracted to older guys" thing, so I have nothing to work with here. I don't know where girls put me on that [x]/10 scale, but it's nothing I'd be glad to hear, let me tell you. I've never been told I was cute, handsome, attractive, sexy, hot, someone they'd like to get with, someone who turns them on, someone they wouldn't mind waking up next to in the morning—nothing of the sort. It has never happened (aside from a few compliments from family members, which don't count due to their inseparable bias) so I need to find some other way to entice girls, or at least appeal to them.

Then there's the actual act itself. Being someone who's gone no further than kissing, I've often wondered what would happen if I were to have a sexual encounter with a woman who wasn't a virgin, which would appear statistically more and more likely the longer I have to wait. I'm talking about someone I've only met recently, someone who doesn't know much about me, but evidently likes me enough to want to fuck me. She's going to be somewhat used to the idea of sex, whereas I'm going to be completely unfamiliar with it. She's going to anticipate all her reactions to what I'm doing, whereas I have no clue how I'm going to react to what she does. Am I even going to get to tell her I'm a virgin? Are there certain routine procedures that I will gloss over? Am I going to overreact to the sensations she gives me? Is she going to assume me to feel comfortable with certain things?

Many, many questions :P Thankfully, however, I'll probably end up losing my virginity to someone I'm in a relationship with, not only due to that being my first preference, but also due to the whole "I don't stand a chance on looks alone" situation previously established. I mean, granted, if a drop-dead gorgeous girl comes up to me and starts talking to me, evidently trying to making her way to sexy-town, I'ma be all over that motherfucker :P—but that's very unlikely. If I have my first time in a relationship, I'm in a secure environment where I don't have to worry about being judged or walked out on (which is something I would legitimately fear were I to hook up with someone :P).

First off, again, is her previous experience. It doesn't matter as much here, but I can't escape the notion that I'd prefer to lose my virginity with another virgin. It's not some desire for a woman of 'purity' or any shit like that; I just think it'd be more special if we were each other's first time, that's all. It'll be special for me either way, and we're both gonna be non-virgins by the end of it :P, but if I had the choice, I'd take a virgin over a non-virgin, just for the exclusivity. It would also remove all sexual expectations on my part, but, as I said, my partner loves me (presumably :P), so she won't be judgemental or anything.

Another thing that I think about is the base system—you know, this thing:

'Base System', xkcd, published 6th February 2009

Now, assuming this A-grade, clearly non-satirical work is accurate, let us use this as a reference guide for those sexual practices I would like to indulge in. I've often wondered if I'd like to go straight to vaginal sex, or move towards it slowly with a partner, going 'one base at a time' as it were. Obviously, if my partner were a virgin, going one base at a time might even be their preference too, as to move at a comfortable pace and work our way up the intimacy ladder. But, if my partner has already had sex, then the previous bases aren't gonna do much for them, are they? I mean, 3rd base (oral sex) is something couples can and do engage in well beyond losing their virginity, simply because it's pleasurable, but putting your hands under your partner's shirt or down their pants isn't as exciting after the first. Sure, it might get you real horny, but it's usually just a lead up to the eventual act of sex itself anyway. If I were to do it for the first time, I would be savouring every point of contact with their body, my hands moving as slow as I could move them without having them at a standstill, being real gentle, leaving no part of her covered skin untouched.

Thing is, I'm gonna be hard as all hell after my exploration, wanting to finish the job :P But wouldn't it at least feel a little naughty for her to then innocently decline me access to her body, to halt the progress, as if she needs a little time to become acquainted with these new feelings, or even just to assert her control, further sexual activity rendered impermissible until she wants to delve a little deeper? I don't know why, but that just turns me on—not in an 'I like it when girls say no; it makes it dirtier when I then do it to their surprise' kind of way, just in a way that fully utilises the sexual tension, uses just the right amount of manipulation in a way that makes it more pleasurable in the end, to make the eventual discovery of what her mouth and/or pussy actually feels like so much more rewarding.

Getting a little weird, I know, but it's all good fun :) I think it's good I can be mature about this kind of stuff, even in my own inexperienced way. I want the most out of sex, and for that, I have to prepare at least a little.

One specific act I've thought about is oral sex, from the perspectives of both the giver and the receiver. I'd like to have my dick sucked because it looks like it feels awesome, but would my partner be willing? I'm not gonna be one to pressure my partner into doing anything, but how common are those women that give head? I have no idea. I'd assume it's more common now than it was previously, but I still can't really assess my chances. I'd want to pleasure her orally too, regardless of whether she'd do the same for me. But again, would she want that? No clue. There's also my curiosity as to what pussy tastes like—from what little I can gather, pussy just tastes like... pussy. It just has its own scent and texture. And that's not to mention that it varies from woman to woman, depending on their diet and hygiene, which is understandable. Guess I'll just have to wait to find out the truth. On a similar note, the taste of semen depends on the same set of variables, which was interesting—I guess mine will taste like corn chips or Pringles or something :P There's another question: will she be fine with me coming on her face or in her mouth? Not that it's something I'd push for (or even ask for), but maybe she likes it or wants to try it.

I've also thought about different positions I'd like to try. I think my favourite position (just from seeing them on screen, as it were :P) is cowgirl: her on top of me. I'd really her to ride me while I'm sitting down—I remember seeing a porn video where they did it in that position, thinking it was the hottest shit ever. I'd also love to do it standing up with her leaning against a wall, her back to me, with her still standing so I could basically spoon her during the act. Doing it against a wall with her facing me would also be nice, regardless of who's against the wall. Doggy style would be cool to try too. The only position I really question is sixty-nine—I'm all for us orally pleasuring each other at the same time, but I don't think she wants my balls in her face :P

Thing is, though, I can't actually have sex yet. There's a physical barrier that prevents me from doing so—an incidental chastity belt, if there ever was one. The problem lies downstairs, with my little buddy... his jacket is, dare I say, too small for him, but he has it on now, and can't take it off. Basically, my foreskin is overgrown. What's supposed to be a cylinder of skin that I can pull back along the shaft, all the way behind the head of my dick, looks more like a cone at the far end, and the hole in the end is so small that I can't pull it back behind the head, not with an erection. I've tried when it's flaccid, and I can pull it back more when it's not erect, but still not quite behind the head—and, of course, if I pull it back and then let it grow, that could hurt like a motherfucker and tear the thing, which wouldn't be the best solution :P

What's crazy is that I had no idea about this until earlier this year—and this is coming from someone who's watched hardcore pornography since he was thirteen. I looked at circumcised dicks and recognised that they were circumcised, but I then would see uncircumcised dicks and think they were partially circumcised (an absurdity to anyone who knows anything about circumcision :P). I'd been told I was uncircumcised, and I couldn't pull my foreskin back as far as they could, so they must have had something done to their dicks to give them that ability, right? Nope—I was the abnormal one :P

What it basically means is that I can't penetrate a woman properly, if given the opportunity. It doesn't remove all sexual avenues entirely—I can still pleasure her with my hands and mouth, and she could still jerk me off—but it does remove the main one, being quite a burden if she is interested in having sex, and obviously a huge problem if we end up wanting to have children (you know, if I lose all my sanity :P). I don't know how I can get it fixed (short of circumcision, which I don't want), but I'll have to have it seen to if I want to get some pussy, cos right now, I couldn't even get laid if a woman walked up to me right now and started begging for it.

But that won't happen so it's all k :)