I really wanna know what it's like for a girl to want me sexually. I'm just so fuckin' curious as to what that feels like. I wanna have sex for a lot of reasons, but the main one isn't wanting to know what a girl looks like naked in front of me, or what boobs feel like, or what pussy tastes like, or what it feels like to have my penis inside of a girl. I do wanna experience all that, certainly—but what I really wanna know what it feels like for a girl to look at you with those eyes that say "I want you". I wanna know what it feels like to see a girl checking me out like I check girls out. I wanna know how it feels for a girl to escalate physical contact by surprise. I wanna know how it feels for a girl to lay it on the table and bluntly state that she wants me.
I wonder if a girl has ever masturbated to the thought of me. I don't even know if a girl has wanted me sexually, let alone thought about me sexually. There are only two girls I know of who have ever liked me: my ex was raised in a Christian home so she may have thought such fantasies could be sinful; and the other is asexual, so she doesn't feel sexual attraction towards other people. Maybe my ex did think about me sexually—I wouldn't be surprised if she was curious—but if she did, I dunno if she touched herself while thinking about it. She never came onto me or tried anything funny, and the one time I tried to make out with her, she didn't really get into it, so if she was having such fantasies in her head at home, she evidently didn't want to go there in real life. I would have loved to be her first sex partner, but I'm fairly sure, even if we'd gone out for longer than we did, we wouldn't have gone all the way. And if there are other girls who have liked me or gotten off to the thought of me, I dunno who they are.
I don't think there's anything more arousing than a girl wanting me. It's the only commonality in my fantasies: the girl wants it. She's horny. She's wet. Sometimes she's so horny, she can hardly control herself, wanting it really badly; other times, she just flashes me a look when we're alone together, and we slowly disrobe and make love. I can't picture enjoying sex with a girl who doesn't want it, and I'd hate to go through with sex when the girl isn't in the mood. But when I picture a girl wanting it, I love how it feels. It doesn't just make my dick hard; it makes my whole body feel great. It's a similar feeling when I imagine cuddling a girl: they just want me there, holding them, cos it makes them happy.
It's part of the reason I wanna go out to more 'adultish' locations: cos this is where these things happen. It sure as hell won't happen if I stay in my room, and it can't happen if I'm only around friends—I have to be around strangers to find someone either attractive or attracted. And I don't know if I'm really attractive enough to get this kind of attention. I don't think I'm ugly, but it's more about what others think. It's hard to imagine a girl putting her hand on my chest and liking it when she'd basically be rubbing my ribcage :P
It kinda scares me when I think about how girls might react to me naked. I mean, I'm gonna fuckin love it when they take their clothes off: it's a naked girl! In front of me! What is there not to like? Tummy? Check. Legs? Check. Boobs? Check. Ass? Check. Pussy? Checkity check check check. That's my list done! But what does she want on my body? I know confidence is a big deal and that if I maintain that (because I'd have to have it to approach her in the first place and get this far :P), that might suffice. But my body's still a part of it. I'd even do basic exercise if it'd help, but it's pointless cos of the way I eat (which is its own can of worms when it comes to this stuff. I dunno. I'll have to wait and see.
And I wonder how they feel during arousal and sex. How would a girl express her feelings if she were to describe wanting/fucking me? Is it the same as guys do? Or is it different? I guess it'd depend on the person, but I think their gender and orientation would have a lot to do with it. I know there's plenty of smut on the internet where chicks write about their sexuality, but I mean more how they'd feel with me specifically, and I'm fairly sure such material not yet been written or published :P I like imagining verbal appreciation, like when the girl say "I like it when you touch me there" or "that feels really good", but why do they like that? I can't exactly stop during the middle of the act, grab a notepad, and say "go on, go on, this is interesting" :P
Lots of questions.
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