Egotism: Drop It

Let's face it: people are arseholes. There exists not a soul out there who isn't out for self; all we have are those people who make a strong effort to ditch their inner arsehole. The internet is, at times, little more than a tool people can use to shovel shit on an international scale. We all think we're better, we all think we're stronger, and we all think we're entitled to more and more; I think we've got a problem here. You can probably think of multiple instances where you have either been subjected to blatant vanity, or have been the vain one yourself. We see superiority when we see something different to what we are, have, or believe in, as we instantly focus on the (supposed) positives of our own ways while emphasising the negatives of whatever the other person is, has or thinks. It's this kind of selective and exclusionary thinking that abuses the exposition as a form of expression, because we only pick what will support our case rather than what will support, simply, a resolution. We think the goal of arguing is to prove that we're right, not that someone is right, and when people don't back down when they're beat, that's when all hell breaks loose.

This has been going on since humanity started: one group thinks and acts one way, another group thinks and acts another way, then both groups set up armies, meet in the middle and try to wipe each other out. You just have to look to Iraq, Afghanistan, Egypt, Tunisia, Yemen, Israel & Palestine, advertising, celebrities and the school yard to see this in practise. The country I live in wouldn't exist as it does if the British hadn't have thought so highly of themselves! The only reason they're here is because they ran out of room in their own country to store prisoners - if you stole so much as a loaf of bread, and you were caught, that was yo' ass - and so they stole procured an entire continent to deal with the overreaction decline of human morals in their country. The indigenous peoples of this country had been here for about 50,000 years before colonisation, and the British ran in to and killed plenty as they developed this country in to what it is today, under the reasoning that the land was "terra nullius," or the "land of no one." That, ladies and gentlemen, is pure and unadulterated egotism: "we think we're better than you, so much so that we don't think you qualify as human. We're now going to do with your land what we please. Cheerio!"

The internet is, of course, full of it too. Just today, I was reading my YouTube comments and came across an astoundingly pompous individual who commented on the Windows: LBP Edition video I uploaded at the end of last year. This is one of the most viewed, if not the most viewed, recording of a LittleBigPlanet 2 BETA level, and for good reason: it shocked people with just how far people were taking the level editor. See, I'm just as bad: I just had to mention that it's the "most viewed" video, rather than just saying it got lots of views (which, after looking at the hit count for my other videos, is true :P) As I was saying, it got lots of attention, and with that attention came a lot of praise. People were spreading it because they thought it was good and that others should see it; it was a technical achievement no on saw coming. Then this guy comes along and says "Not actually that amazing!" going on to describe an e-mail system he supposedly made in the original LittleBigPlanet. In a 2nd comment, he took what he said back (which is pathetic in itself,) but claimed that in a few months, he "shall be your competitor!" "your" referring to the authors of the level.

... what is this I don't even... seriously, what the fuck? It's LittleBigPlanet! You make levels... for fun... to share! Why is this douche turning it in to a competition? I mean, he was outdone for starters: creating an e-mail system is nothing compared to creating an entire operating system! E-mail systems go inside operating systems; his level would have been a mere feature in the acclaimed creation! But, to then go ahead and say "I'll fight you!" in an aspect of the game that has no outright competitive purpose is ridiculous! It doesn't surprise me after looking at the username, though: it had "1999" on the end, which means I can safely assume he's only 11-12 years old, and 11-12 year-olds are really, really big arseholes simply by nature. I saw some other kid claiming he cleared Chimpanzee's "Pegged" level with 3 balls remaining... and? What do I care? What does anyone care?

Sometimes, you have to be egotistical! It's part of the task at hand! Writing a resume or CV is the perfect example: how do you write one without being a totally self important twat? You can't! The whole point of a CV or resume is to make yourself look better than all the other people writing CV's and resumes! You're advertising yourself, slowly becoming nothing more than a product that can write its achievements on paper. It's hard to write them, too! For some reason, when you go to write one... you stop being an arsehole! You actually stop to consider the other four or five poor bastards whose livelihoods and families you could destroy by going through with this! It's the worst time for it to happen. Sometimes other people are egotistical for you! They announce something "wonderful" or "terrific" that you've done and make you look like an even bigger arsehole! And, if it's in the workplace, you've already had to show your CV or resume, and now they've been told this! Now, you're the biggest arsehole in the building!

Yeah... we're just a big bunch of arseholes... it's the ones with their pants down that get to me :P

Revenge: A Dish Best Served with a Side Order of Concrete

Having been through the vast majority of my school life, I've gotten through relatively unscathed, at least as far as bullying and attacks are concerned. I've never been beaten in my life; I've been smacked a few times for not going to bed on time, but who hasn't :P My arse-whoopings are nothing compared to some I've seen and heard about. I have, however, been a victim of bullying in my early school life. I recall very vividly one incident where my food was stolen and thrown in a toilet. Needless to say, that shit's fucked up :P To make it even worse (even though it went over my head at the time) I'm fairly sure the kid who told me my food had been thrown in a toilet was the one who did it; I'd had no previous contact with him, so how else was he to know I was the owner of the food was unless he'd seen me with it? The fact that he was evidently a few years up from me (well, in school years, anyway; I'd have beaten the shit out of him in terms of mental capacity :P) contributes to the theory, but unfortunately, that's what it will forever remain... until some Back to the Future fan takes things way too far :P

Then you get shit like this:



Irrespective of what your opinion is as to what happened, let's look at this in an objective manner: Kid A was pissing Kid B off for a considerable amount of time. Kid B reached his breaking point, picked Kid A up and threw him face first in to a slab of concrete. This is just to separate the facts from the reporting; if I'm not mistaken, Ten News failed to show any responses openly panning Kid B's retaliation. This is unusual because that could mean they're trying to promote fighting back, even though I expect our media outlets to (subversively) promote submission out of self interest. Speaking of self-interest, Channel Ten sure did make the Education Minister look like one dumb motherfucker; schools are not one of the safest parts of our community, whether this kid got thrown or not. May I remind you that Channel Ten leans towards the conservative political agenda in this country, and the Education Minister is from the other side of the political spectrum, so she could have actually said more relevant shit that was worth broadcasting only to fall victim to subvert corporate slander. Or, maybe the editor's just a damned good troll :P

Seriously though, how can you trust a bunch of uneducated and emotionally sensitive human beings to make a safe environment? You don't just learn how to spell and count in school; you also learn how to deal with people who are fucking you around, and what you saw is just one of many methods available. What's amazing is that after further reading on the subject, the kid who was throwing the punches was in Year 7 (12-13 years old,) and the kid who was throwing the kid who was throwing the punches was in Year 10 (15-16 years old!) Hopefully the sevvie learned not to fuck with people twice his size unless he wanted to become a projectile in motion :P It reminds me of the bullfighting they do in Spain; you taunt that bull for long enough, and it will come at you with enough force to send each half of your body to different sides of the arena.

As far as I'm concerned, the younger kid got what was coming to him. I'm all for ironic punishment like that. Yes, some may see it as the victim being "no better than the offender," but there's no quicker way to make someone realise what you put them through by putting them through that same pain. Fuck that kid; he's just another unintelligent, unenlightened and undeserving stigma in our already polluted education system. Seriously, someone should take a mathematics textbook and shove it right up his arse. Use one of the senior text books; they're thicker, much thicker :P Use him as a pinata at the next school expo. Use him as a crash test dummy for driver education. Use him like he used his victim to cover up his own insecurities. I'd love to run up in to his school with a few chums armed with baseball bats, and just chase him, just to scare the shit out of him. A kid in high school has been around long enough to have the decency not to engage in senseless violent activity, so most of the responsibility lays on him here.

But, although I can't be certain, not all of it may. The sevvie's parents want the Year 10 kid to apologise! What the fuck for!? Your kid was punching him in the face and treating him like dog-shit for an extended period of time... he picked your kid up and threw him to the ground... seems about even to me! It's too late for apologies anyway, from both sides. Move on, you stupid motherfuckers! Be thankful that your children went through this at a stage in their life when their learning ability is still high and they could appreciate the lesson they've learned, instead of getting beaten by a gang when they're in their 30s and committing suicide. The parents could just be looking to get the blame off their backs, perhaps because they know how poorly they've raised this son of theirs and that their actions are actually the reasoning behind all this. Either stay out of it, or cop some of the blame; looking for retribution in an issue you aren't part of is just sad. The same could be said for the parents of the older kid too; he should know not to do what he did, but he fuckin' did it anyway! At least they aren't asking for compensation they don't deserve.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some baseball bats to acquire.

Internet Shorthand: moar thought w/ comment plz? :)

The Internet has, unsurprisingly, developed its own language. What's come about as a result of 10 to 15 years of rapid digital Westernisation and unrivaled physical ineptitude appears to be a very malformed and broken version of English, with a whole tonne of jargon thrown in for good exclusionary measure. Many of the terms we use are text-based alternatives to expressions we can not convey normally through digital means: LOL, ROFL, LMAO and all those emoticons are just a few examples that jump to mind, and this is perfectly understandable, if not extremely beneficial, to us as people. Language itself is a tool that provides a common knowledge base with regards to communications for all to use. It gives us all the same idea of what certain terms mean according to how they are used, and the context of the situation provides one with meaning pertaining to the situation.

This is where the formalities end.

Of all the terms, expressions, pictures and other means of communication we digital residents use on a day-to-day basis, one stands out for me as being the single worst permutation of letters I've yet seen arranged on paper or panels: "plz." Shorthand for "please," the adverb that you stick in to those sentences where you're asking someone for something and want to be polite, as to acknowledge the fact that you are asking this person to sacrifice their own resources for your own gain. If you don't know what the concept of politeness is, please look it up in your nearest dictionary. Even if you're slightly unsure of what I'm on about here, look it up. You will be doing everyone around you a big fucking favour, and learning things is fun!

Let's look at my context for a moment: I've published many a video in my 2 years as a content producer. Some of these videos have been tutorials that aim to assist the viewer in something they would otherwise not be able to themselves, and all of them have been provided 100% free of surplus charge to said viewer. This is why it boggles my mind when some ungrateful cunt comes along and asks me to help them in-game, right before sticking "plz" and their PSN ID on the end of their already malformed "sentence."

The act of asking alone demonstrates an extreme lack of gratitude; I just showed you how to do it! Step by step! Hell, I even talked you through it. Yes, perhaps the video didn't help you as much as I'd hoped, and that's a shame, but the other people saying "Thanks!" and "Great video!" beg to differ as to the video's usefulness. Irrespective of that, I've spent hours putting these videos together, so just why the fuck should I drop everything and schedule to help you do something that everyone else seems to be able to do themselves without any trouble?

Sticking "plz" on the end just tells me you can't even be bothered to type "P" then "L," followed by "E" and "A," right before hitting "S" and returning once more to the "E" to perform the arduous task of typing a 6 letter word. If we were all using mobile phone keypads to communicate over these here interwebs, I wouldn't see this as a reflection of laziness, because I can at least reason with the justification of using shorthand under those circumstances, but face it: most of you fuckers are using keyboards, so feel free to use all the keys. And take a lesson in grace from Jon Graham: "plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz" is just as bad, if not worse, than the "root" form "plz." Its use doesn't demonstrate impoliteness as much as it demonstrates stupidity; the time you spent holding down the "Z" key could have been used pressing the OTHER FUCKING KEYS!

I couldn't give a shit how you speak to your chums and pals, but when you're speaking to someone you don't know and asking them for something, whatever it may be, a little grace goes a long goddamn way. When you fuckers apply for a job, don't be surprised when you get a rejection letter,  packaged, to your surprise, with a tattered shred of paper from your resume; you know, the part where you said "I can has job plz?" I'm sure you'll be :( maybe even :'( but maybe you'll learn something. I know it's been a while, but don't fret; it's a good feeling, I assure you.

I can't remember where I read this, but as a quotation, it sums everything up nicely:

"If you type 'plz' instead of 'please' because it's shorter, I'll type 'no' instead of 'yes' because it's shorter."