NB: This entry (like every other on this blog) represents my thoughts at the time of writing. I know what's written here is harsh towards the end, but this was written a month after the described events happened, events I had gone through for the first time. Anyone expecting me to handle such a situation perfectly when I hadn't experienced it before is a thick cunt, as is anyone who assumes I'm too retarded to learn from my mistakes. If you're too ignorant to recognise context when you see it, stop reading this and go back to English class.
"Hard " doesn't even scratch the surface :P With the way men think, it just ain't gonna happen. We are never ever going to know how they work, why they do what they do, or why we like them so much even though we go through so many of them trying to find the right one for us, which isn't the most pleasant experience (or so I've heard :P) Today is "International Women's Day," or something like that; the title would mean more to me if I could make sense of this crap. Perhaps it's just my ignorant male mind speaking here, but why the fuck is there an International Women's Day? If women get one day, then men must get the rest of the year! That's hardly fair! It doesn't really push for that whole "equality" thing these activists strive towards. Of course, a feminist's view of equality could be that it is women's turn to be the powerful ones and that men should submit to women as women once did to men, but that's just hypocrisy. I couldn't give a shit about women's rights. Fuck women's rights. I don't think it's wrong for a man to hit a woman; I think it's wrong for anyone to hit anyone else. See that? That's equality. To focus solely on women's rights can easily be interpreted as a form of discrimination in itself; why should group X have different rights than group Y? The struggle for women's rights may strive to close that gap, but from another angle it perpetuates the clash even more.
On a different note, let's talk about women, politics aside :P It may surprise many of you that I had a girlfriend once. Shit, that was... a month ago! I think a month back from today was the day I actually broke up with her. For those of you who've been through that... I feel your pain. And I thought needles were bad :P A thousand of them going through your heart is significantly worse. For the naive folk among you who don't know what a break up consists of, let me take you through mine, step by step. Also, let me make it clear that this is a specific case study; it does not represent what every other woman would do to you in the same situation. Your mileage may vary.
Imagine that you have a girlfriend, and everything appears to be OK. You talk, you hug, you kiss; you share one another. You have those cute little things you do that make you the happiest you've ever been, and you think it's never going to end. Everyone in a while, you ask yourself "how long can this last?" but you never get around to finding an answer because you're enjoying it too much to care (and so you should be!) So, everything's fine, and then :O suddenly things are different! She makes your hugs quick and moves on as soon as she can let go. Kisses no longer occur. Talking is brief and to the point, way too much to the point. After a few days of this, you realise that things are clearly fucked up.
But, you don't know what's making things so fucked up! So, what does a man do? He investigates! He goes over everything he can remember doing, everything he can remember saying, everything that he thinks could even potentially be the cause of this entire fucked up scenario, but can draw no conclusions. You know why? Because he hasn't done ANYTHING fucked up! Your solo attempt has failed, so you move on to Plan B: Get Information from Someone Else. You're a logical guy, so, logically, "someone else" means "her." She won't say a word over the Internet, which means a weekend of unpleasantness for you as you go back to Plan A 20 times or so. It's a cruel irony: when you need someone the most, they want nothing to do with you.
Back seeing the person in the flesh the following Monday, she still does not approach you, so Plan C: Get Information from Someone Else who Isn't the Someone Else We Chose Earlier, comes in to play. A friend quickly debugs the entire situation and gives it to you straight: she just doesn't like you anymore. What the fuck does that mean? I hear you ask. ...I dunno. It means you're fucked, that's all I can gather. Regardless, you now speak to her personally, and here's how it pans out:
You: So, I heard that you don't like me as much anymore. Is this true?
Her: Yes.
You: Well, there's no point in continuing this if you don't feel the same way about me as I feel about you.
Her: Nope.
You: So, a simple question: is this the end?
Her: Yes.
... yeah. Talk about fuckin' cold. Ice cold. That is without a doubt the most disgusting, unsympathetic dialogue I've ever seen come out of someone's mouth in front of me. That made me so sick, I had to stay home the next day. I tried to throw up, to get it out of my system, but like my feelings for the old her (this was obviously some other cold hearted bitch who had killed my loving girlfriend and stolen her identity :P), it just wouldn't go away. Damn, she could have at least acknowledged the fact she just dumped someone and that he just might perhaps sorta kinda feel like dog shit! The dog shit that person has indeed been treated like.
But, as we all (or most of us, anyway :P) know, you move on. For me, the best way to move on is to find someone new, someone exciting, someone... better :P Once you find them, think about them. Think about them heaps! All the free time your brain has, let her take it up. Think about her talking, her running around, her naked; who cares!? Go nuts! That ex of yours moves out pretty damn fast after that :P Hey, face it: you're gonna have to do this a lot more times before you find that really special someone.
... wait. Did I just give romantic advice? One ex-girlfriend, and I'm Mr. Know-It-All? Shit... give me a sec...
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