So, first and foremost, the plan! The plan to get out more and meet people and see the naked girls! Progress has been made:
See that? See that right there? That's Initiative™, here to save the day. Initiative™ will get you places. Initiative™ is your best friend. And Initiative™ can be yours for three easy payments of effort being put into achieving your Dreams™ (sold separately). Spoke with the president of the Society, gave him the link to my latest performance, guy said he'd pass it on to the executive peeps... fuckin' progress :)
I figure I'll just do the same material as I did in the video I sent, but I'll have to make some changes to it given that we've had a change of government recently, and the first half is rather political. That should be easy though—new government holds all the wrong ideals (like, all of them :P). I'm excited, though! It's been a while since I've performed, and I'm totally up for more. So yeah, first step taken :D
As for stuff that's actually happened, I've noticed I'm a little more comfortable in tutorials at uni now. There are two tutes where I actually talk with the people sitting next to me, not necessarily initiating conversation but at least joining in when it happens. The other tute does have me talking to the people sitting next to me, but it's always in a group work context (every worksheet in every tute is groupwork, at least under our tutor :P). Not that their input is entirely invalid—they do think of things I don't—but they slow me down so much that I get through ~20-25% of the sheet in the hour-long tute, and the rest in another hour at home. My fourth tute is one I'm happy to leave as it is, don't really care, lol.
Initiating conversation is still proving difficult, even in academic contexts. I wanted to talk to my MATH121 tutor about a question on an assignment we got back recently, but students were having a conversation with her. I figured I'd just follow and wait for an opening... I followed them for two minutes before I could get a word in :P I'm still not up to interrupting people, even if my needs are greater than theirs (they were just talking about random stuff). She was like "Oh, sorry! I didn't know you were there! What's up?" Well no fucking shit you didn't know I was there; I've been walking next to the person who's walking next to you, saying nothing as I waited for silence to emerge for so much as a second :P Gotta work on that.
And in terms of future events, I have an engagement party to go to in a few weeks time. First adult-ish social setting I'll have been in for a while, so it's a good opportunity to test myself. For this, I just wanna go and be comfortable. That's it: don't worry about initiating contact, don't worry about talking to girls or any other shit—just be comfortable. Just simple stuff, like if someone talks to me, trying to actually engage in a decent conversation rather than giving the bare minimum required to work it along; taking interest in what's being said around me and join in if possible; and leaving my phone in my goddamn pocket. No phone allowed. No phone >.< Phone can only be used for writing spur-of-the-moment jokes and girl's phone numbers... if I somehow... actually get that far by complete accident :P
My mum did say there'd be girls there, but this is an engagement party for someone who's at least 6 or 7 years older than me, so I'm not exactly getting my hopes up :P Maybe I'll see someone I like, but I don't want to aim too high and be disappointed. Beyond just being comfortable, I'll feel things out once I'm at the venue and make decisions from there—for now, I'm only interested in being comfortable and happy in a social setting. Achieving that would be pretty gud :)
Well, that's all for now. Back to my essay... :(
No comments:
Post a Comment