Promiscuity: ...Wut's the Big Deal?

I was watching a couple of videos on slut-shaming today, and I haven't really thought too much about it until today, so I felt I'd write a little about what I think of this whole thing.

Of the two videos I watched, one of them was deleted shortly after uploading; it was a response to the video below:

So, onto my views. Being raised an only male child by a single mother in an irreligious household, I guess it's no surprise I ever really held this mentality that girls having sex with a whole bunch of guys was a bad thing. Perhaps I did hold that opinion at one time or another in the past, but I can't remember ever thinking that way. I guess, for those who do think that way, part of it comes from the religious viewpoint that says sex is this dirty vat of temptation and sin which you should enter into as infrequently as possible to avoid corruption. Another angle might be the risk of disease and pregnancy that arises when partaking in sexual encounters with many different people. The thing is, though, when you use logic and reason, as to go through this rationally, the whole concept falls to pieces.

Let's get this straight right off the bat: human beings are animals. We are not above animals; we are animals. We are above lower animals, yes, but we share the same basic needs that they do: food, water, a habitable environment, and sex (once we've matured). Humans are also social creatures with the ability and desire to interact with one another. Having sexual intercourse is one of the ways in which we interact, stimulating each others erogenous zones and having a bond, however short it may be.

So, why would you ever shame a girl who likes dicks inside of her, who like having fun and feeling good through having sexual encounters with lots of men? Da fuk?

Obviously, the first thing we have to cover is the double standard of "It's fine for men to get lots of pussy, but girls riding every dick they see? Big no-no." Many try to use the keyhole metaphor to justify this imbalance, stating "If a key can open a lot of locks, it's a good key; if a lock can get opened by a lot of key, it's a shitty lock."

*sigh* :P

Dicks aren't keys and pussies aren't locks. If a woman's pussy is a lock, then all women's pussies are shitty locks, regardless of the woman's attitude towards sex, because a dick can penetrate anyone's pussy. I can fuck white women, black women, happy women, crying women, three year old women, eighty-three year old women, even dead women—technically, I can fuck any woman on this planet, provided her pussy isn't malformed or decomposed (and I use the word 'can' here in terms of ability, not permission :P). It's a one-size-fits-all system; locking mechanisms are the exact opposite of that :P

Continuing the comparison, a key is operated by a person to unlock things, right? A lock isn't really operated by anyone; it just sits there, preventing unwanted access to whatever it's locking. Whilst men can certainly be more dominant than women in terms of their sexuality, that's not always the case—and when users of this metaphor label promiscuous women 'sluts', they're usually labelling women who themselves are seeking out dick in the first place! Did locks become animatronic all of a sudden?

The metaphor doesn't work because the lock-and-key metaphor ignores key biological and neurological functionality in human beings. Keys and locks aren't sentient. Keys and locks can't get sick. Locks can't get pregnant and give birth to little baby keys and baby locks (though that would be fucking hilarious to watch). It doesn't work that way.

It also brings up the whole purity thing, as if women have something to protect down there, and have been contaminated once they've been fucked, or are dirtier if they fuck a lot. On a physical level, dicks get just as filthy as pussies can when people fuck; and in the broader, metaphorical sense, women ain't got shit to protect down there, not really. They should be careful who they let in there, certainly, but no more careful than men should be when they pick who they allow to play with their cocks.

Now, how about those who say promiscuity increases the risk of contracting an STD, or getting pregnant from/impregnating a stranger? ...um... contraception? Condoms? Morning-after pills? You know, shit that's rather cheap and easy to find in today's modern world? Yes, there are plenty of irresponsible people who sleep around without protection, but they're not sluts; they're idiots. They're dumb motherfuckers and deserve to be called out for being irresponsible, but they're morons because of how they're fucking, not because of how much they're fucking.

Another justification may be that to hook up with people you don't know is dangerous—what if they're a murderer, or a thief, or a rapist? Yeah, well what if the cab driver who drove you to the club was any of those things? What if there was a mass-murdering psychopath sitting up the back of the club, ready to amputate limbs and chop off heads? You take risks wherever you go, and this is no exception—your responsibility to determine whether it's safe or not. The likelihood of this being the case isn't that high anyway.

Are there sluts, though? You bet your ass. The problem lies in either the definition of the word, or the stigma attached to it. If we redefined the word to make slut mean someone who, even by these standards, fucks too much, then it's all good. Cos you can fuck too much—you can eat too much, drink too much, sleep to much, say too much, so you can fuck too much. If you fuck to the point where you can no longer control yourself, constantly seeking out sex to the point where you can't function rationally in society, then you're a slut. If you're dancing with a guy on a dancefloor somewhere, and you just pull down his pants right then and there and start blowing him in front of everyone (whether he likes it or not), you're a slut. If you sit on people and beg them to fuck you even though you don't know who they are, you're a slut. You'd have to be out of your mind to pull that shit; and yes, you should be shamed for it, cos it makes people uncomfortable and puts their sexual health at risk, as well as yours. There is a line; people are just drawing it far to early on the spectrum.

Or, as I said, we could get rid of the stigma attached to being a slut. A comedian by the name of Jim Jefferies sums this up rather well (though I can't find a video that isolates this segment of the performance):

'When I say sluts, I don't mean that as a bad word. I love sluts. I fuckin' need 'em in my life, sluts. They're the best! ... I'll tell you what the difference [between a slut and a 'nice girl'] is. When you [a nice girl] deep-throat a cock, you're doing it because you've seen it in a porn, and you think your boyfriend will enjoy it. When a slut deep-throats a cock, she's doing it because she can't last another second... without a cock bruising the back of her throat. When you've got a cock in your ass, you're thinking "This isn't so bad. I hope he's enjoyed his birthday." When a slut's got a cock in her ass, she's thinking "You know what'd be good? Two cocks in my ass! And you can't learn that! That has to be in your system; that has to be part of you.'

I Swear To God, filmed on the 16th of May 2009

Not that I agree 100% with everything Jefferies says, but all I'm trying to put forth is the notion of "Yeah, you're still a slut, but don't feel bad cos there's nothing wrong with it, and some people will really dig you for it". How such a change in meaning would come about I don't really know, but if blacks could take the word 'nigger', replace the 'er' with an 'a', and turn it into a term of endearment, such a change in meaning is possible. Yes, I know being black isn't a choice even though being a slut is (in this context), but what I'm saying is that removal of the stigma attached to the word isn't beyond all possibility.

I wonder, though, how I'd feel if I was approached by a slut (the traditional 'girl who sleeps around' variety, not the suggested alternatives). Now, granted, any woman approaches me at a party or a club or something, and I'ma be pretty happy face already, cos it will surprise me and validate me rather quickly :P  But let's assume that I've had sex before and the whole premise isn't as shocking as it once was, just for a moment. Let's say a slut walks up to the non-virgin me, and it's a woman I know sleeps with lots of guys. Let's say she's hot too (cos she'd have to be for me to even consider a purely sexual encounter with her :P). How do I react? Would I trust her if she said she didn't have any STD's or anything? Depends, I guess. Would I go for it? I dunno. I'd have to be put in that situation to know for sure. But I can't see myself being all like "Hey slut, wassup? Having a good time, slut? Tell me about the last guy you fucked. Point him out to me; he can't have left already. How many dicks can you fit in your pussy at once? It's gotta be pretty wide by now. Don't tell me it's double-digits; I'll have to call bullshit on that, unless you can prove it!"

What if I became a slut?
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...
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Not possible :P