I've needed a new phone for a while because the old one began to take up to half an hour to receive text messages. It's been a good seven years, Motorola V220, but your reign of pocket-sized procrastination is over. It's pretty cool to have a phone that can browse the Internet... it's also cool to have a phone that knows what the Internet actually is.
I also got an Xbox 360, which surprised me cos I never asked for it or anything. I did mention the Wii U to my mum, but clearly said to her that the phone was plenty and to get me the console on top of the phone would be ridiculous. There was a small part of me that thought "Wouldn't it be funny if she got you it anyway?", but I never meant it to be reverse psychology—the phone is a fucking awesome gift on its own and I didn't expect anything on top of it. She actually thought I'd said 'Xbox' instead of 'Wii U' in that conversation we had, getting the 360 by accident, so I'm getting it exchanged for a Wii U, covering the balance out of my own pocket (more than fair :P). I have no need for a 360, and the Wii U is a better investment seeing as it's a next-gen console. My PS3 covers all my seventh-generation gaming needs; and there are no exclusives on the 360 I want to play (except for Perfect Dark on the XBLA, but that's a remake of an N64 game), so it'd just end up sitting there unused. The Wii U, though, will have plenty of new games coming out for it that I can pick up; and it's backwards compatible with Wii games, not to mention the older titles on the Virtual Store, so I practically got two consoles instead of one.
I feel like a douche for swapping it, cos it seems ungrateful as all hell, but it would be a waste of my mum's time and money to keep the 360 and use it once in a blue moon. It's not like I opened the wrapping paper and went "What is this crap? An Xbox? Pfft, only faggots play Xbox, mum. Wii U's are the cool console now. God, you're such a dumbass, seriously. Xbox SUCKS >.<" I was like "o.O ...uuummmm... this is a surprise, but I don't know why I need this seeing as I have a PS3 already... >.>". It's not even like I have anything against the console; I just don't have any reason to keep it. The games that came with it didn't interest me at all—Halo is only fun when I play with friends, Forza 3 is one of those realistic racing games (whereas I prefer wacky shit like Mario Kart or Crash Team Racing), Skyrim is an RPG (no faster way to put me to sleep :P), and Gears of War is just... silly :P
Oh, the guilts of discretionary consumerism... what a plague have I unleashed upon myself? That's not a rhetorical question, by the way: I have a cold right now (on top of suspected tonsillitis, which I may have had for the past two fucking years), so I was first on karma's Christmas list :P
Onto a completely different subject: my body. I've been thinking more about my appearance lately— not with any changes in mind, just with an awareness of how I present myself to others. For the record, I don't really give a shit how I look, not often. If I'm going somewhere, my mum usually suggests clothes for me and I just wear what she says, seeing as she knows better than I about clothing :P I also don't buy new clothes, nor do I style my hair, shave, or anything else like that. My way of thinking is this: if people are going to judge me by the way I look or the clothes I choose to wear, their opinions are evidently based on the superficial aspects of my persona and are therefore shallow; hence, any judgement they pass unto me is null and void.
The only time I see a reason to change my presentation is when I want to give someone a more positive impression than I could by presenting my usual self, and this would only happen if I were going to an event where I could meet new people, specifically girls. My chances of getting some pussy are low enough as it is, so yes, in this case, I will certainly take steps to improve my odds of chatting to a girl, getting her phone number, hooking up, whatever. But what would I change?
Would I style my hair? Maybe. There's not much you can do with my haircut :P But if putting gel in it or something makes it look better, given whatever else I'm wearing, then fine, go ahead. Speaking of hair, I recently saw a picture where I was blowing out the candles on my nineteenth birthday, and I had really long hair. Goddamn, did it look repulsive :P I only thought it was a problem once it was in my face... it was a problem so long before that :P
Would I shave? Yes. My facial hair is, for lack of a better word, inconsistent. I have quasi-sideburns that are coming along well, a moustache that's kinda there, and a very small growth under my lower lip which I like—the rest is just all over the place. I have only a few hairs growing on my chin, and the hair linking my wannabe-moustache to my pseudo-sideburns is just patchy. On some parts of my cheek, there's a little bit of hair; on others, there's no hair at all; and on others still, there are hairs that seem longer than those on the top of my head! Why is it putting all the focus into a few fucking hairs? Quantity over quality here, man! I'd rather a clean look than a few over-achieving follicles.
Would I use aftershave/cologne/anything that makes me smell different? ...here's a better question: why should I? Now, far be it from me to take everything this George Carlin says as fact, as he's no scientist (and I know I quote him an awful lot :P), but I trust his intellect:
Something else I can do without: aftershave and cologne, and this disgusting shit that men put on their bodies. Just what I need in the elevator—some guy standing next to me smells like a fuckin' pine tree! I say "Go home and wash, you smelly prick! You smell like the urinal in a Portuguese cathouse!" Goddamn, guys are stupid. Guys are really fuckin' dumb. They think they're gonna get laid with this stuff, ya know! Oh yeah, they put it on at home—"Oh boy oh boy, I'll get laid tonight, I'll get laid tonight." You don't get laid with green shit that comes out of a bottle, OK? The only smell that's gonna help you get laid is your own natural scent. You have pheromones; it's a secondary sex characteristic."
Back in Town, recorded 1996
Is he right? Do women like guys who smell... raw? Or do they prefer it when we put these fragrances on? I'll put it on if it helps, absolutely, cos the amount of time it takes me to put it on is far shorter than the amount of time whose quality might be improved with a girl liking that smell, being attracted to me in part because of it.
But there are other things I refuse to do, things I don't give a shit about. Jewellery is the big one for me. I don't wear necklaces, earrings, bangles, rings, none of that shit. I don't see the point—it's just shiny for the sake of shiny! If jewellery meant something to me, then I might wear it; but having metal dangling from my neck or sitting around my fingers impedes my ability to do what I gotta do during the day, and it fuckin' pisses me off. If I had a ring that symbolised something for me, or a ring that reminded me of someone or something from my past, then sure, I'd wear it—but I don't, so fuck it. I don't even wear a watch because wearing one seems to pull at my wrist when I move it around (I think the wrist hair gets caught in the band or stuck to the watch somewhere, being tugged when the watch shifts, but I can't be sure). I don't care if other people wear jewellery, but it's not like a girl's gonna grab my attention with huge earrings and bling all over her hands and arms—that actually sounds repulsive and materialistic :P
Shoes are another thing I don't care for. My mum goes apeshit over shoes; she thinks they're the most important thing in the world, always telling me to clean my shoes and keep them in good shape. So many times has she said to me "You can always judge a person by their shoes." Well, you can always judge a person by how much money they have too. The first judgement is based off a small, largely irrelevant piece of information; and the second is based off only one aspect of the person's life, whereas there are many more I'm neglecting to analyse. Both judgements are premature and therefore rather irrational. It's just a dumb way to look at people. Going back to chicks, I seriously don't give a fuck what shoes they wear. If I'm looking at a girl, I'm looking at her tits, her ass, her face, her arms, her legs—anything but her fuckin' feet! In fact, if someone's staring at your shoes, that's when you should say "Hey, my eyes are up here", cos at least they're better to look at then a pair of shoes. Fuck shoes >.<
On a side note, not that it's anything I have to worry about, but makeup as a whole just confuses me. My ex (from what I can remember), didn't wear much makeup, if any at all, and she was beautiful (and still is). I don't see the appeal. Maybe I just haven't seen a girl with no makeup whatsoever and have no 'default look' to compare, but I'm not seeing the huge benefit you girls get from plastering shit all over your face. I know it's not just a physical thing, but also a psychological thing, perhaps to cover up imperfections you don't feel comfortable with. A little patching up here-and-there is fine, oftentimes a good thing—there are men who do the same thing, using acne-creams and moisturisers and stuff—but what's the deal with just piling it on? Mascara that makes your eyes look like they were hand-drawn, eyeliner that seems to be applied to an area that extends far beyond the actual eyes, lipstick and lip gloss that makes your lips taste like Jesus or whatever... the fuck, man? That makes you look horrible. How insecure can you get? I like looking at a girl's face when I can actually see her face, not the twenty layers of colour and spice you chucked on top for no apparent reason. Are naked faces immoral now or something? Seriously, the best thing a girl can do with her face is smile because she's happy being where she is. You don't need makeup to pull that shit off.
I only mention these things cos I'm thinking more about expanding my social horizons next year, so I'll be learning a lot more about this crap if and when that happens. If I wanna attract and impress people who don't know me, I understand that their first impression will be on what I wear, so it makes sense to manipulate my appearance as to get the best response possible; but as for people who already know me, or people who don't have anything to do with me, their judgement of my looks is fucking irrelevant.
And again: fuck shoes >.<
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