Questions 2: This Time, It's More Personal

This list is a lot more intricate than the last one and has much better questions. There are also questions I can't answer because my life is fucking boring :P  But let's try :)

1. What’s a question you’re afraid to ask? To whom?

I'm afraid to ask people for stuff, like asking for their time/help/advice. If I get the idea to ask any of my friends for any of those things, I usually end up not doing it.

2. What’s something you hide about your personality?

I really don't know. I don't know if I hide anything about my personality, or even try to. I generally don't hide my personality from friends, and it's been that long since I've met new people that I have no clue anymore.

3. What’s something other people think about you that you don’t agree with?

Hmmm... well, sometimes, people think I'm overly sensitive when in online discussions, even though I've exhibited no sensitivity whatsoever and am merely arguing my point unto them. People like that are just plain retarded.

4. How do you deal with criticism?

Pretty poorly, usually. I take things personally too often and can overreact.

5. What’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for you?

Let me be in a relationship with them.

6. What’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever done for someone?

I don't think I've done anything sweet for anybody—unless someone else can answer that question, there's no answer.

7. What’s something sweet you’d like someone to do for you?

Hug me out of the blue.

8. Describe your favourite texture.

The back of a girl's hand—haven't felt it in a while, so I can't quite remember, but it's definitely soft and warm :)

9. Which national or global tragedy were you closest to and how did it affect you?

Never been affected by any national or global tragedies—no natural disasters, no armed conflicts or civil strife, not even the global financial crisis. Our old house was flooded once by flash flooding, but damage was minimal.

10. Post a photo/draw a picture/write a poem (pick one) of a moment of personal significance.

I don't take pictures of anything and I can't draw, nor do I feel up to being a poet at the present time.

11. Which fictional character would you most like to have lunch with and why?

Daria. I'd never get sick of her cynicism with its flat delivery. Never ever.

12. Who would you say is your “anti” role model? Someone who serves as a warning rather than an inspiration?

My dad—he's a fucking coward and I need to be less like him.

13. What’s your least “politically correct” opinion?

I think there should be no such thing as 'swear words' or 'bad words', and that all words should be available for use by anyone at all times. I don't want this ridiculous stigma that (hypothetically) prevents me from saying the word "fuck" to a six year old just because some faggot in a suit said it's wrong. They won't fear the words if you don't insight the fear in the first place, and the definition of a word is set by the words around it. Unfortunately, that makes profane language lose its 'oomph' as it were, so even if it never comes to pass, I still win for knowing the correct way to treat words in a society that mostly doesn't.

14. What kind of underwear do you imagine Sherlock Holmes wears?

...ye-olde underwear?

15. What’s one of the most difficult things you’ve ever had to do?

Whether I had to is somewhat debatable, but I definitely felt the need to apologise to a friend of mine for talking about her in a sexual and intrusive manner on this blog. Took me months to garner the gonads to do it.

16. If you were an element on the Periodic Table, which would you be and why?

One of those ones down the far end that no one remembers.

17. What’s the most infuriating thing your parents (or caregiver) do?

I fucking hate it when my mum smokes around me. She usually does it outside, but when she lights up before she leaves the room, Jesus Christ, it stinks >.<

18. Which Disney Princess do you most identify with and why? Which is your favourite and why? And yes, ANYONE can answer this question.

I haven't seen a Disney movie in that long that I can't even remember who the princesses are, lol. Who do we got... Snow White, Cinderella, Belle, Jasmine, Ariel, and some others who escape my mind. I don't identify with any of them too closely, but I'm probably closest to Jasmine, wanting to avoid control from authority, be independent and whatnot.

19. You’re an action movie hero. What’s your weapon of choice and the line you scream when defeating your arch enemy?

Well, if I could pick anything and know that I'd be awesome with the weapon, the practical side of me would go for dual-wielding Micro-Uzis or having an AK-47, just so I could have a bog-standard gun that I could kick anyone's ass with. That's generic, though.

For style, I'd go around with an Ethernet cable, using it as a whip/lasso, and choking people to death with it, slowly eliminating enemies of a free and open Internet. After a long chase through Parliament House, and a one-on-one brawl with Stephen Conroy, I'd have him trapped right in front of a window. Even though it's totally cheesy, as I tightened the cable around his fragile little neck, I'd be all like "You just got blacklisted!" or "404: life not found!" or "You're gonna be experiencing some technical difficulties!" Man, it doesn't matter what the pun is, the context just makes it lame :P

20. What’s the silliest fan theory you’ve ever come up with?

I've never given that much of a fuck about the speculative canon of any movie/TV show/novel/book/video game.

21. What did you think about before you fell asleep last night?

Last night as actually one of the first nights I've had in a while where I've just fallen asleep as soon as I went to bed. Usually, though, I think about either being with a girl, or visualising some ridiculous action movie scene I've made up to go with whatever song I'm listening to.

22. What’s the oddest term of endearment you’ve ever used or that someone’s used for you?

My uncle who lives interstate always called me 'Brain' when I was a kid.

23. What motivates you in life?

Having a girl to set my sights on, as well as comedy. Laughing at stuff never fails to cheer me up, always makes me want to write and perform my own comedy :)

24. What was something you used to enjoy, but was ruined for you? What’s the story behind that?

I used to really enjoy watching movies, like, really enjoy it, but for some reason, they usually end up boring me now, no matter what they are. If I'm watching with friends, it's a different story, but I don't watch films on my own now cos I just get bored. It's gotta be super-duper exciting to keep my attention.

25. How do you think you will fare when the zombie apocalypse arrives?

I will die begging for sex from any woman I could find. I'm fucked anyway because I have no survival instinct and am way too picky about my eating and everything, so I might as well just get as much pussy as I can before I get ravaged.

26. Which mythological creature are you most like? Why? And if you could be any mythological creature, which would you want to be? Why?

I'm most like Bigfoot (though my existence is not questioned :P). I'm alone most of the time and I stay in my own environment, never leaving.

As for what I'd like to be, I went through the list of mythological creatures on Wikipedia and found one called 'Giant Penguin'. Fuck yes.

27. Write a brief story about an actual adventure you’ve had.

Haven't really had an adventure.

28. Describe one of the most awkward experiences of your life.

Calling up a girl I asked out (after she said no) to apologise for putting pressure on her by asking her out in the first place. Cue an hour-long tirade of awkward questions, uninteresting responses (on my part), and fifteen second pauses, topped off by my complete failure to actually do what I called to in the first place and apologise (which is silly enough in and of itself, lol). I have never been comfortable making phone calls since.

29. What’s something that scares you about the future?

The fact that I will fuck up and do things wrong. Also the possibility of ending up alone or without experiences to look back on.

30. List 5 quirky things about yourself.

1. I have phimosis (an overgrown foreskin).

2. I (somehow) live off chips, crackers, biscuits, chocolate, lollies, yoghurt, custard, pureé apple, breadsticks, water, and iced coffee. I eat neither meat nor fresh fruit/vegetables.

3. I always get water from the bathroom sink rather than the kitchen sink. I swear, it tastes better.

4. I use my fingernails and toenails as toothpicks, chewing on them and stuff (they're clean and it's my own body so why not :P).

5. I do stand-up comedy in front of hundreds of strangers with no issue, but I'm also shit scared of talking to people I don't know (they're not the same, though, as much as others beg to differ :P).

31. Describe your dream library.

Every piece of comedy paraphernalia in the world would be there, organised chronologically. Texts examining all religious dogmas would be available, as well as rich volumes on the sciences and language. Also a computer terminal with Tetris so I could bludge.

32. What’s the weirdest item you’ve ever mourned?

I don't... mourn items... >.>

33. If you could design an amusement park ride, what would it be like?

I'd have a rollercoaster where the track was just a metal tube which was all twisted and had loops and corkscrews everywhere. The car would be a flexible hollow cylinder that went around the tube, and people would get in the car and be standing in all different directions (some would be sideways, some upside down, but all facing forwards, the same way rollercoaster would travel). The coaster would then twist, turn and rotate around the tube as it went along the track. If that exists already, I wanna see it.

34. Do you have any “rules” about food?

Yes, the weird-ass ones described previously.

35. What’s your opinion on age differences in relationships?

If you can give informed consent and your partner can too (in all aspects, not just sexual ones), go for it.

36. What’s something you want to do that you’d be embarrassed to tell other people about?

Not sure how embarrassed I'd be to tell someone else this (would ultimately depend on the someone else I'm telling :P), but I wanna have sex within the confines of a high school, either the one I went to or the one my partner went to. I don't mean breaking into one of the buildings; I just mean somewhere outside. I'd opt for when it was closed so we could just climb over the fence, find a spot away from prying eyes, and fuck without worrying about being caught. I just think it's just naughty, lol.

37. Describe a time/event in your life that you’re nostalgic for.

I like the time when I first asked Sally out, or the time I just started going out with my ex, and I had butterflies in my stomach all the fucking time ^_^

38. How do you approach social situations?

By hiding in the corner and eventually running away.

39. What is your ideal bed? Why?

Um... one that's... comfortable? Maybe a double bed with my partner in it? Or just the double bed on its own so I could spread out, that's equally good.

40. Post a short excerpt of your life.

The day before answering this question list, I played Megaman, Super Mario Bros. 3 and Tetris; watched videos criticising religious fanaticism and radicalism; and edited my own video where I created the arcade game Snake and time-lapsed it. I will play more games, watch more videos, and work on more of my own projects tomorrow, and for a long while after that, until I get my ass out of this house and meet some people who get me out of the house on a more regular basis.

There, doneskis. Need to find more lists like this with decent questions.